Failed as a Human Being!

I have been revisiting my past for a few days since. It has been quite exhausting, I have to honestly admit. The overflow of memories is ineffable! It is ‘almost’ moistening my eyes. But most importantly I realise how far I have come from there!

I never thought I would write about him. I thought I had left him far behind in the past. But obviously there was some unfinished business. I have known him for a LONG time; long enough to know that I would not want to associate with such a person ever in my life. In fact, whenever I meet a person, who displays a few of his qualities, I shun that person far away from my life. I doubt if I could ever forget him. I couldn’t. That is because he is everything I do not want to be. He is everything I detest in humankind.

He seemed really nice to me at first. I always thought we were very close. I used to call him my ‘best friend’. I told myself for a long time that he has done a lot for me and has been doing a lot for me. I never questioned what the ‘lot’ he did for me was. I never questioned his judgements; though he’s always ask me not to be judgemental on the contrary. He was (is?) a complete hypocrite. It is a pity that I was ever associated with a person like him.

I never loved him, though I admitted it to myself more than a few times. I was afraid of him. I was afraid of losing his ‘friendship’. I was tormented that he would judge me for one of my flaws. I was frightened that he will abandon me and after that I will thrown into oblivion. I wasn’t like this before I knew him. I had more confidence that God himself did. He always undermined my confidence. He always made me feel little about myself. And I noticed he’d do the same with everybody he associated with. A few people would agree with me, and those who do not, are still under his influence.

I sought my freedom from this disgusting tyrant when I was at the point of minima. I was depressed, and psychotic due to some unfortunate events in my life which are not of relevance here. I even had seizures. My life was almost lifeless. The Master put up with me for a while, but one fine day, he decided, he had had enough of nonsense from me, and called it quits. He said, “If you wanted to die, you would have taken the exact amount of sleeping pills that would have killed you. You can still do it; at least you won’t be a damn hypocrite.” That was it. I knew I was kidding myself that he was a friend. He was more demented than I was. I moved on. Since I was rid of his presence in my life, my body and mind began healing. It was almost magical. Of course my Family and my Doctor friend from AIIMS have had a great hand in pulling me through, but not being associated with evil, set me into light, like an auto pilot.

Interestingly, he didn’t stop there. He wrote me an email the following year, an abrupt one at that, asking me not to contact him. It was hilarious to read that email. Being in contact with the devil, I knew there would be a minor setback in my life. Yes, there certainly was, and I sprung back to life, after the effects of evil had diluted and vanished.

They say he is doing very well in his professional life. I say, what is the point if he excels in what he does; he failed as a human being.

Lesson: Detach from all evil. It may take a while, it may seem impossible. But when you have gotten rid of the devil, you can’t help but smile the happiness of God within you!